My biggest mistake is allowing a memory from the past to interfere with the present.
I was in love with a co-worker at a former job. I met him in 1998 when I started working there and fell pretty hard. He showed some signs of being interested, but we never dated - the best I could do is ask him to lunch and he shot me down. I left the job in 2005 to move away and get married. Fast forward to now... my marriage has gone way downhill in the past year and I think it's beyond saving. I'm much happier alone than spending more than 20 minutes with my husband. I still think of him - I thought about him off and on throughout engagement and marriage, even in the so-called happy times. Now what I want more than anything is to just get together with him once and get to know him, even though I haven't seen him in four years. I have let this "memory" of something that never was and never will be interfere with my life for too long and I cannot let it go.
35/F
1 comment:
I can sort of relate.... When I was 19, I got together with a guy that I had went to highschool with.. Nothing sexual, just kissing, talking and laughing...
But we just connected, clicked or something. I was crazy about him. He went on an almost year long holiday after that, and during that time I started seeing someone else, whom I married.
When he came back from his holiday, he asked if I was seeing anyone. I was... I've always wondered what if, what might have been. Then just recently he passed away. Now I know none of the questions I had or things I wanted to say to him will ever be answered. How did he really feel about me when he left on his trip or when he got back? did he want to get together when he returned? It drives me crazy!! I saw him shortly before he died. He gave me a huge smile, and asked how I was... There was still that 'something' between us... I know I wasn't imagining things.....
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